There is No Cure for “A Cure for Wellness”

I went to see the much anticipated sci-fi thriller “A Cure For Wellness”.  And let me tell you - there’s nothing special to anticipate.  After having to sit through the mess that this movie was, I’m giving it a rating of 2/10.  The movie tells of a power-hungry young man who works in a finance company in New York City.  As punishment, he is sent to retrieve one of the CEO’s of the company who resides in a wellness center in Switzerland.  Along with the other patients, he believes he is sick with an incurable illness and is waiting for a cure.  After being in an accident, the protagonist becomes trapped in the wellness center, where he discovers ugly truths and something in the water...  Sounds pretty cool right? How could anyone possibly mess this concept up? Well someone did, and here’s what went wrong:

 

To begin, the dialogue was completely laughable.  So laughable that I laughed out loud throughout the movie on more than one occasion.  I understand that the writers were probably going for a dark scary story kind of thing, but as a result the entire movie just could not be taken seriously.  It was a sort of sad effort to appear edgy and mysterious, like a new “Donnie Darko” mixed with “The Phantom of the Opera” with the way they jumped from scene to scene.  In fact, it tried so hard to be unique and confusing that that’s all it was - confusing! So many parts did not add up and were not fully explained, but it wasn’t even done in an impressive way that provokes the mind.  Personally I enjoy digging through a film to figure it out, but this wasn’t even that kind of movie - but it really, desperately wanted to be.  The reveals were not that shocking, and it was mostly just gore - scares that left you a tad uneasy.  Probably most upsetting was an unexpected rape scene/incest scene, which was uncomfortable for a lot of viewers who weren’t prepared for that kind of content.  However, the initial theme was just enough to keep me watching until the end - it was just executed very poorly and could have been done differently.

 

Cinematically though, the movie was beautiful when it came to panning through the scenery of Switzerland.  That’s honestly what saved this movie. Imagine - the only element in a film that matters is its SETTING. Incredible.

 

So I don’t recommend spending the money to see it - actually don’t even watch it at all unless you’re in the mood to be mad and disappointed.  If you do choose to watch, (bless you) you’ll probably want to avoid drinking water for a little bit.

Monique Sempertegui

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